8:25 on Thursday morning… How can THIS tiny girl be going to kindergarten.
Right?! She’s, like, TWO!
So today’s #WednesdayPlayday is for my big giant bus-riding kindergarten-attending lunch-box-toting, oldest daughter.
It’s not all dumdums and kiddie pools around here… I’m ready for school to start. SHE’s ready for school to start. BUT… man, it comes on quick these parenting milestones. She’ll be gone ALL day. Until 3:30. And I’ll miss her. In a few weeks, she’ll be carrying a tray around the cafeteria. (WHAT?!) I’m told she’ll learn things like reading and turn-taking and Swahili. (No, not really with the Swahili, but that would be very cool.)
I can only imagine that this is just the beginning of parenting moments… those moments when you simultaneously have such pride that you’ve succeeded in getting your child across this early finish line, but such a yearning for the sweet moments in your rear view mirror. Does that make sense?
Of all my children, Eleanor is the most cautious. She has SO much curiosity and imagination, but she gets silly and shy.
She has a fantasy world that manifests itself in her outlandish choice of clothing. She could pretend and create ALL day. She asks questions and makes connections.
She LOVES her baby sister (translation: she assaults her baby sister). She is adored by her younger brother and I’m sure we expect too much of her as parents often do of their first born. But, maaaannn… she was meant to be our oldest as she has taught us this parenting act like no other beautiful little spirit could.
And I KNOW she’ll be great in kindergarten. I know she needs the new experiences and the friends and that this is obviously just part of life. So even if the first few weeks are rocky, THAT’s part of life too!
But still I worry. I worry that the children at school won’t appreciate her wit and her imagination. I worry that her teacher will take Eleanor’s quiet determination for confidence and won’t give her the hugs and affection she wants but won’t ask for. I worry that she won’t be challenged. I worry that she’ll always want to wear her sparkly tights and blue shirt under everything to be like Elsa.
With all that off my shoulders, I am mostly so proud that this little being is headed off on her academic yellow-brick-road. Kids have personality from the get-go, but there’s something about kindergarten that makes that little personality so much more autonomous than I ever imagined! And she’s got this! She might be shy and scared and excited and nervous and eager… but it’s all for HER to negotiate and maneuver. (We’ll be cheering our faces off from the sidelines!)
Afterall, isn’t that the hardest part about parenting ? Knowing how and when to let your kids chart their own path… how to let them go… how to trust that you’ve done your part and they CAN do it. Cue all sorts of deep breaths and nail biting here. My sweet ladybug is off to see her kindergarten wizard!
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